I'm Not In This For Her
by rubyflanigan
Summary: Rachel has a particularly bad day in the job she hates. She's just glad her boyfriend can make her feel better. Established Puck/Rachel. Basically plotless Smuckleberry.


**I'm Not in This For Her**

**I own nothing of Glee, Puck or Rachel, in case you were wondering. **

She hates her fucking job. Hates the fucking idiots she works with. And yes, profanity is now a staple in her otherwise sparkling vocabulary. She blames her incompetent fucktard of a boss. And Noah. But right now it's solely the fault of the shitfest, commonly referred to as her job, reducing her to cursing like a sailor.

Noah would be proud (even if he has matured somewhat since they stopped hooking up and started dating for real, at his insistence), and no doubt would find some sexual way of rewarding her for her 'badassery'.

She needs to focus. Thinking about what Noah can do with his tongue is distracting her from her anger. Justified and well placed anger towards her idiotic co-workers, though mainly directed at _her_.

The Busybody Boss Bitch.

Okay, so the nickname needs a bit of work, but it's descriptive. She's a busybody, a bitch and she's Rachel's boss. The Triple B is evil, spiteful and annoying at the best of times, but today? Today she took it to a whole new level.

* * *

Rachel never expected to be working in an office, but after graduating – while waiting for her breakthrough role – she needed to live. Rent, food and good shoes don't come cheap and there's never an excuse for auditioning in ugly shoes. Noah's wage was good, but they couldn't survive on just one salary.

That was two years ago and every day she prays (figuratively) for 'the call'. Did she mention she hates this fucking job and has done for one year, 10 months and 3 days?

Its mind-numbing and not what she wants to do with her life. She's not shown an ounce of respect and is treated like a child most days (she's twenty-fucking-four), but the pay is good, the holidays awesome and they're fairly flexible with her auditions, so she sucks it up.

Until The Triple B sticks her nose where it's not wanted and opens her fat mouth.

She wants to retaliate in a way one would associate more with her boyfriend, but she holds back. What she has planned is way more epic than that, even if she does say so herself. But she does want to leave. She wants the aforementioned boyfriend.

Generally he sucks at the whole understanding why she gets so wound up thing, but he's quick to cuddle with her once she's exhausted herself through complaining. So yes, right now she wants Noah.

So, on that note, one patented Rachel Berry Storm Out coming up!

* * *

She gets home and he's already there, listening to a noise she assumes is Pantera and chopping something green for dinner. Literally kicking off her shoes and dumping her keys in the bowl on the table, she lets out the frustrated scream she's had inside her since this afternoon's showdown.

He pokes his head around the kitchen partition and raises an eyebrow.

"What did The Triple B do _this_ time?"

"She pushed me too far, Noah, that's what she did. Do you remember when I hung up on you after calling you a jackass?"

He smirks and nods. Yeah, that was hot.

"Well, she decided it was her business, and I quote 'How dare you talk to anyone in that manner? I'd slap your face if you were my daughter.'"

Noah puts down the knife. He knows this is going to get ugly by the way Rachel's chest is heaving. And not in the good way. He leans against the doorjamb while she continues.

"So I told her, 'luckily I don't have a mother of any worth, so it appears as though I'm spared your physical abuse' and proceeded to add this latest incident to my saved-in-drafts email – which as you know contains details of every occasion one of them has made an unprofessional comment or gesture towards me, and expresses my wish for _her _in particular to be investigated for harassment – before announcing my intention to take the rest of the week off while they decide how best to provide me with an official apology. And so I came home. Because I wanted you to make me feel better, and you're making dinner without a shirt on, and although that in itself is fairly dangerous, it's such a turn on that it seems your work here is done. I'm going to take a bath."

"Hey, whoa, hold up," he said, moving around the dining table to her, "my work here is never done."

He cups the back of her neck with his hand as his lips ghost over hers.

"I love you. You're fucking amazing, y'know that? And d'you know how sexy you are when you get all badass? Shit, Rach."

He kisses her then, hard, furious and full of passion, his lips slanting over hers and his tongue forcing its way into her mouth, until she moans.

"Baby," he says as he kisses along her jaw to _that spot_ behind her ear, "gonna make you come, 'kay? Then you can spend as long as you want in the tub."

Clinging onto his shoulders, she looks at him with lust-filled eyes and can only nod as he starts to move her up onto the table top.

He pushes her skirt up to her waist as she settles on the surface and grabs at the top of her tights.

"Why the fuck do you wear these things?" he asks as he pulls them down her legs and off her feet, letting them drop to the floor.

"They keep me warm. It's winter." She says, rolling her eyes as best she can when he's sucking on the sensitive spot behind her left knee.

She's already lifting her hips and trying to push her own panties down when he bats her hands away to take over. He draws random patterns with his tongue over her crotch until she whines and pushes her hips toward him a little. He then hooks his fingers around the edges and slides the offending black lace down, lifting himself slightly to lick a trail from under her belly button towards her clit as he goes.

"How are you so wet, Rach?" he says, his warm breath fanning over her sensitive skin.

"You….you make me wet….you just have to look at me," she manages while he's staring at her like he's never seen her without panties before. Hell, like he's never seen anyone without panties before.

"Fuck, Baby. Your pussy is so fucking perfect," he growls out before taking a long lick up her slit and groaning at the taste of her, sweet on his tongue.

She squirms beneath him because he's teasing her, the tip of his tongue flicking at her folds, occasionally darting between them but never actually nearing her clit.

"Noaahhhh," she whines, trying to manoeuvre him to where she wants him by squirming despite his near painful grip on her hips.

"Noaahhhh, stop trying to kill meeee," she drags out as he finally latches his lips onto her clit and sucks hard, causing her to buck into his face. He knew it was coming though – he knows his girl – and knew to pull away just enough to maintain pressure without getting a black eye for his troubles.

He bites at her clit before soothing her with his tongue at the same time he pushes two fingers none too gently inside her.

When he gazes at her, she's palming her boobs through her sweater, pulling at her own nipples as best she can. She sounds all breathy and sexy the way she's moaning his name and the occasional "fuck", and he swears she's the only chick in the history of chicks who can make him as hard as he is, about to lose his shit against the edge of the dining table.

This was supposed to be about her, but he's about to come in his pants if she doesn't soon.

He moans out her name with his mouth still on her and glances up to see her back arch as an unladylike "hnng" comes from the back of her throat.

She's close, he can tell. Her pussy is clenching around the fingers he's curling inside her and she's only ever this inarticulate right before she comes.

He continues to move his fingers, pumping and curling them, while his tongue, teeth and lips work her clit, alternating between one and the other randomly, flicking, sucking, biting, sucking, biting, flicking, until she's slamming a palm down on the table top. Her back is arching and the other hand is grabbing for his head to stop him from moving as her hips buck, her thighs twitch and an almost indescribable half moan, half scream that sounds a little like his name passes her lips.

He feels her about to push him away so she can close her legs and come back to herself slowly so he lifts himself, all but crawling up her body to kiss her languidly.

He's honestly _this close_ to coming when she moans into his mouth at the taste of herself on him, circling her hips, subconsciously chasing the friction of his cock – still very much inside his pants – on her clit.

Before he can tell her to stop, shit, before he's even noticed, she's got his pants undone and he's pressed against where she's warm and still so wet for him. Then she swivels her hips _just right_ and fuck, he's thrusting until he's balls deep and she's panting his name in his ear.

He can't move or he'll embarrass himself, but if he doesn't move he just might die (and people say Rachel is the dramatic one. Clearly these people have never had sex with him), and dying is far worse than coming too early.

That, and Rachel's still stupid from her orgasm so it's not like she'll mind it being hard and fast.

So he pulls out, groaning as he does so, and slams back into her making the table move and her squeak in surprise, both moaning when he repeats the action, and she's already meeting his thrust with one of her own which means he's totally fucked and needs to get her off again like, yesterday.

And it's now that he realises maybe he should have gotten her naked because his girl likes him touching her boobs. He can tell her nipples are as hard as he is and nothing would get her off quicker right now than him biting and licking them and fucking her like he is.

He lowers his mouth to her anyway, through her ridiculous sweater (seriously she's had it since they were in high school and she's filled out a little since then. It's the pink one. It's too tight and hugs her curves so perfectly it's ridiculous), sucks and bites one nipple and she twists and pulls at the other, which he basically loves her more for, while her other hand tries to tug at his hair (it's too short) but succeeds only in digging her nails into his scalp.

It's hot, just the right side of painful, which she knows and does on purpose even as she's still (still! Fuck, he's awesome) coming down from her first orgasm and about two seconds away from her next if he plays her right.

He moves one of the hands on her hips so he's rubbing the side of her clit with his thumb and she's arching her back, taking him deeper as he pounds into her.

He's pretty sure they're fucking each other into a legit coma, which they try most times but haven't managed for a while, and it's either going to be epic or messy considering they're still on the dining table.

Her legs tighten around him, shaking as she bows clean off the table, her walls milking his cock as she purrs out "oh fuck, Baby, yes" and her calling him 'Baby' pushes him over the edge, like always, and he comes, jerking into her unceremoniously, until he practically collapses on top of her because his legs give way.

She's still clenching around him so hard it almost hurts but she's otherwise boneless beneath him, gasping for air and still moaning a few 'oh Gods', 'Noahs' and a 'yes, so good', lips mouthing at the side of his neck.

She won't let him move, keeping one arm around his neck even though her legs have slipped from his waist. It's probably a good thing since he doesn't trust himself not to impersonate Bambi if he tried to (yep, there's that coma), but he's starting to get cramp in the hand that's trapped between their bodies.

He lifts his head to kiss her, distracting her with his tongue in her mouth as he pulls out, but she still whimpers and he would smirk and call himself a stud if he had the energy.

He rests his head on her chest, dropping a kiss between her boobs while he regains enough composure to stand, and she runs a hand over his short hair.

She giggles softly and he looks up at her. He must look confused because she full on cackles and calls him adorable.

"I guess your work here is done. At least for the time being," she offers by way of explanation.

He bites her at the junction of her neck and shoulder, murmurs to go run her bath while he orders in because he seriously can't be fucked cooking now, but still doesn't let her up until she pushes at his shoulders and rolls out from under him.

She turns his head with a hand on his cheek and kisses him, all slow and lazy "I love you" she says, kissing him again and nuzzling his neck as he wraps her in his arms, both still half naked.

The short silence is shattered by Rachel's cell chiming a voicemail alert, so she pulls away to fish through her purse. She cheers triumphantly (yeah, it's cute) when she finds the damn thing and checks her messages.

She puts it on speaker when she learns it's a message from work, wanting Noah to hear it in case she needs to go crazy again.

"Rachel, its Julia from the office. Just calling to let you know we've arranged a meeting for Monday morning with regards to the apology we owe you. Have a good weekend."

She turns to Noah after listening to the message and grins. Not just grins. That's her show face she's wearing, but her eyes are full of sin. He knows his girl and knows she gets horny when she gets her own way.

"Bath, food, sex. Not necessarily in that order."


End file.
